I'll never forget the summer of 2023. While being a kid during Covid meant I was no stranger to the internet, back then I was solely existing online within child-friendly video games, youtube comment sections, and Goblincore Pinterest boards. The closest I got to Snapchat was playing with the filters on my babysitter's phone; the closest I got to Instagram was in my dreams. Well, honestly, I didn't really want Instagram, or Snapchat, or TikTok. I was content in what I knew, and I even felt a little bit rebellious as I was technically sneaking Pinterest behind my mum's back. (she wanted to nip my interior design interest in the bud, I suppose.) However, there was one site that did pique my fancy, did intrigue me, did devastate me when a quick google search enlightened me to its obsolete status. The site was MySpace, a relic from an older time, one that I began to idolize fervently, ever since watching a youtube video essay on its iconic influence. 'MySpace Dead For Good' read Google. 'Better Luck Next Time!' I hung up my iPad.
For a bit, I forgot about MySpace, until one day it popped into my mind like a gambling ad on a pirating site. (Those were new for me that summer, too.) Curious, I googled it again, and scrolled down a bit. A blue icon caught my eye. 'SpaceHey' the link read, '-a space for friends.' A clicked it, but when faced with a screen asking me to make an account, I chickened out. I closed the tab as fast I could and looked around, fearing the trouble I would be in if someone saw. No one did, but I still stayed away from the site for a couple of days, until I could no longer resist.
Making that SpaceHey account and a year or two later my first Tumblr account marked my introduction into a world beyond Minecraft, beyond my small town, beyond my middle school friends. On SpaceHey, no one knew I was a tiny twelve year-old, since no one cared to ask my age, assuming I liked my privacy. Everyone I added was older than me- my closest online friends, high schoolers! 15, 16, even 18 year-olds! And the best part was, they thought I was one of them. SpaceHey was a whole new world- a grimy internet alleyway full of dark humor, gore accounts, vents about self-harm, and drunk photoshoots. It inspired me to try coding, pursuit my nerdy interests, and make real friends beyond school. All these years later, I still remember the rush of seeing the little notification bell pop up.
By 2024, most of my good friends were posting less and less, or not at all. Eventually, weeks would turn into months where I forgot about the site, though I would always remember about it before too long, and would pay a visit. It was one of these instances, the second day of 2026, that my heart broke. I had logged on the day before and posted a couple random happy new years!!! bulletins, so I meant to check for any replies before inevitably putting the app back into slumber. But as I tried to login, an error code unlike the crash screen I was quite used to flashed upon my phone. 'SPACEHEY IS NOT AVAILABLE IN YOUR REGION,' the little yellow triangle blinked, informing my aghast face that since SpaceHey didn't have the software to comply with my states' new internet age restrictions, I was unable to use it. My heart sank. I didn't know why that news hurt so much- I had barely used SpaceHey in months, and all the people I was even close to on the app had been afk for years. I wasn't exactly devastated, but some kind of melancholic, perhaps bitter-sweet emotion overtook me. SpaceHey. My little outlet to the outside world. Where I had met people from all over the planet, stayed up late talking about my life, been introduced to so many good shows and bad music, poured my heart out on bulletin boards and Sanrio themed blog posts knowing only millennial strangers would see. SpaceHey had for so long been a quiet part of me, one that I kept to myself, turning my phone screen away from my parents, sneaking my phone into the bathroom at school. I mourned alone that night.
August, 2026. 2AM. The last few weeks of summer were waning into sophomore year.
Bored, I scrolled through Instagram. I didn't feel like going to sleep. That February, I had managed to convince my mum to let me make an account on a late night, using my best acting skills while pledging responsibility. Something scuttled softly in my wall. I took a bite from a dry loaf of bread and kept scrolling. One reel stood out: "Things to add to your blog!" 'The blue light poured into my eyes. I blinked. Then I clicked the account. A soft-spoken lady shared her advice on making a blog using this website. Nostalgia flooded me. The way she spoke about html codes as if they were little magic spells or house-hold appliances, trusted but not understood, in fact inspiring to undertake in understanding, filled me with remembrance for my own days on the indie web.
So I made an account, and here I am. I missed blogging. I'm not quite sure where I'll share about my blog, or if I'll even do so. Just happy to be able to. Don't expect consistency. I have big plans for sophomore year. I'm the age I used to idolize, and boy is it fun to be 15. Not to mention how 16's only 4 months away! Man, I really need to take that permit test...
Thanks for listening, and tune in for my next posts! I really do want to keep writing.
xoxo,
~ Freya
<- Ya girl circa august 2023. 
<- my first profile pic on SpaceHey.
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